Keep Your Hands to Yourself

I honestly can't believe how often my girls argue and fight with each other. I was absolutely aware there would be sibling rivalry, but these girls can argue about literally everything. They can be best friends one second and then try to hurt each other the next. It is so exhausting!

What's even more exhausting is that this is just the beginning, Payton is 5 and Taylor is 2. No way am I prepared to do this for another 13+ years. I keep trying to read up on how to get it under control and I am very aware that I am doing it all wrong.

• Be Calm Under Pressure -  7 out of 10 times I absolutely lose my shit.
• Have a Plan - The planned consequences are time out or taking things away, but sometimes these girls aren't phased by these consequences.
• Try Not to Label - Taylor has become my trouble maker and while I don't deliberately label her, I know Payton hears my conversations with Aaron and some of the difficulties we are having at school or at home with her hitting.
• Don't Pay Attention - I have tried to ignore them and let them work through it, but half the time the arguments turn physical and someone is getting hurt.

The hardest part is getting them to listen before things get escalated. They suggest teaching kids ways to discuss solutions and problem solve. I feel like I can have this kind of conversation with Payton now that she is almost 6, but Payton is my little instigator. She knows exactly how to annoy the crap out of her sister and then wants to play the victim when Taylor starts hitting her. Obviously, hitting Payton is not okay, but when I try to explain to Payton on how to avoid those types of situations she is already all drama and upset that her sister hurt her. I also know that I put more pressure on Payton to make the right decisions because she is older. 

Taylor is just in that terrible two phase and transitioning to the threenager. I know Payton wasn't easy at this age, but Taylor has taken it to another level with how physical she is. I do think there are times when Taylor is playing and she thinks it is a game or just gets really excited. Aaron and I have made it a point to let Taylor know when it changes from a game to actually hurting. She is very stubborn and we honestly haven't found the best way to discipline Taylor. She is a smart kid and one on one Taylor can be great. I am looking forward to getting through this phase and being able to communicate with Taylor and find some consequences that really work.

This weekend was one of the worsts. Aaron is out of town hunting so it was pretty much the girls and I. There was lots of yelling, hitting, crying, alone time in our rooms and apologizing. There was arguing about little things, like one person touching the other to breaking ornaments because they couldn't share while decorating the tree. I had them ready for bed by 630pm tonight. Luckily, we ended the evening with them working together and Payton teaching Taylor how to do a headstand. I know it's not always this hard and I am trying to remember to enjoy the good times...but sometimes they make it SO HARD!