I have always been the type of person who can handle it all. I could multitask with the best of them and enjoyed being involved in lots of things. My career in advertising is a fun one that brings lots of crazy to my day. At work, I help on board new hires and interns and I also help with our social committee to plan fun events for my co-workers. I am on the board for Media Mix, a non-profit organization composed of media professionals. We put on educational events for our members along with organizing fundraisers for our charity, Operation Breakthrough. I also make time for my favorite organization, KC Pet Project. I do some marketing of dogs from home, but also try to be at the shelter once a week walking dogs. Besides all this, I am a mom and a wife which brings on so many responsibilities. I enjoyed all those things and I could handle it all, but things are different now.
Postpartum Depression has changed all that for me. This past week has been a mountain of emotions. Normal daily tasks seem overwhelming. The stress and anxiety of taking care of my family and going back to work have me feeling terrified. I cry a lot, I don't want to eat, I don't want to get out of bed, I count down the hours to the girl's bedtimes. It is a very lonely and scary feeling.
The most frustrating part is I can't turn these feelings off. Some moments I am literally sick to my stomach with worry. There are rare occasions when I feel a little more positive and I can eat something and enjoy the girls. I don't know how long this is going to last. My feelings just escalate when I think about all the time I am wasting worrying instead of enjoying life.
I go back to work this week and that has just added even more anxiety. What will I be doing when I get back? How am I going to juggle work responsibilities with mom and wife responsibilities. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, baths, bedtime. Where is there time for fun or me time?
I talked to my doctor during my 6 week follow up. We are going to try some anxiety medicine to see if that can help. She assured me I'm not alone and things will get better. It's hard to see the light some times. I am thankful that I have support, especially my mom who drops anything she is doing to help me.
Postpartum depression is no joke. I don't wish it on anyone. I am sharing because I didn't realize how serious it was til it happened to me. Check on the new moms in your life, you never know what they are dealing with.
The most frustrating part is I can't turn these feelings off. Some moments I am literally sick to my stomach with worry. There are rare occasions when I feel a little more positive and I can eat something and enjoy the girls. I don't know how long this is going to last. My feelings just escalate when I think about all the time I am wasting worrying instead of enjoying life.
I go back to work this week and that has just added even more anxiety. What will I be doing when I get back? How am I going to juggle work responsibilities with mom and wife responsibilities. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, baths, bedtime. Where is there time for fun or me time?
I talked to my doctor during my 6 week follow up. We are going to try some anxiety medicine to see if that can help. She assured me I'm not alone and things will get better. It's hard to see the light some times. I am thankful that I have support, especially my mom who drops anything she is doing to help me.
Postpartum depression is no joke. I don't wish it on anyone. I am sharing because I didn't realize how serious it was til it happened to me. Check on the new moms in your life, you never know what they are dealing with.
Comments
Post a Comment