Well, we are 25 weeks in and 15 weeks away from meeting baby #2. This time around 25 weeks is a lot different than it was with Payton. I am more uncomfortable, more tired and more stressed thinking about two sassy sisters running around. I don't think it helps that I knew starting at 6 weeks that I was pregnant with baby #2 and I was able to get through the first 15 weeks without even realizing it with Payton. This has felt like a really long pregnancy...with 3 months to go!
Lots of things are different, but the most frustrating is everything got bigger faster. My boobs and belly came out of nowhere and fast. I was wearing maternity clothes sooner and regular bras were not doing it for me. While I can still see my feet at this point, bending over to put on shoes is rough every once and awhile. It was like I just popped overnight. I am a little nervous about how much bigger I am going to get with 3 months to go. It still amazes me to think how much everything changes while you are growing a little human inside you.
I definitely remember being tired with Payton, but this time it is a different tired. Exhausted is probably the better word. Sleeping is harder this time and I can sometimes barely roll out of bed, let alone get to the gym a couple times a week. When I get home I have no motivation, which really doesn't work out well when you have a toddler running around. All I want to do is lay on the couch and take a nap. It has been hard for sure and I am nervous about getting bigger and more tired as we get closer to the delivery date.
I remember being pregnant with Payton was uncomfortable, but I don't remember it starting until closer to the end of my pregnancy. When I wake up some mornings my hips are achy. My belly feels so tight and everything feels like it is stretched as far as it can go. Even sitting certain ways at work are just not comfortable. I also have Payton who wants to lay on me and use me as a jungle gym sometimes which doesn't help. This past week was really bad, mostly because Payton wasn't feeling well and then I started not feeling well. Taking care of a sick toddler and then not feeling great yourself is rough!
Another thing is my appetite SUCKS! I don't want to eat meat which is totally weird for me. I am a meat and potatoes girl all the way...normally. I want to eat crappy all the time. Greasy fast food, pizza and lots of carbs. I don't know what is going on. Oh and it is Halloween in a couple weeks and my office is filled with amazing candy and chocolate which is no help at all. I am trying to snack on healthy stuff every once and awhile, but dinner time is the worst. Nothing every sounds good and whatever I cook usually tastes horrible, sorry Aaron.
Last and certainly not least is this pretty girl Payton that I am chasing around. Keeping up with her sassy, sweet personality while being huge is making things a lot different this time around. Thankfully, we are conquering some battles that needed to be won before baby #2. She is pretty much potty trained and we are just wearing pull ups at night in case. Huge success! We also have a pretty good bed time routine in place and she is falling asleep in her bed and staying asleep all night. I would like to try and get her to bed a little earlier and her falling asleep on her own, but we will get there. Really, she is an awesome little girl, and it is hard for me to fathom loving someone else as much as her and figuring out how to split my time between two. That girl is my world and it does make me sad and nervous to think that I won't be able to give her 100% of me as often as she has been getting it.
I know people do it all the time and people do it with more than 2 children, but at this point I am so scared. Parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done. I have made some mistakes with Payton and it has made things difficult and me question myself as a mom. To think about adding that stress with another one is super overwhelming for me. Keeping in mind my job and how important it is to me, giving my all to not one but two kids and then I have a husband that deserves some attention from me. How do I fit in anything for myself? I know this is a ridiculous pity party I am having for myself, but I am being honest and it is going to be real life come February. I am sure everything is going to work out, but if you know me well enough, that isn't going to stop me from worrying and stressing about it now and while I'm in the thick of it.
Thankfully, I have an amazing support system with my family and while I will be stressed and scared and worried, I have some wonderful people in my life to help me and I am very lucky!
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